Grit. Tenacity. Stubbornness. Persistence. These terms, among others, tend to all circle around this same idea of something that most of us appreciate when we see it, but which we can’t quite describe. We actually celebrate facets of it. The ability of someone to be disciplined in a profession, or to get rid of a bad habit, among many things, all come back to this characteristic that some seem to have in abundance and others seem to lack entirely.
Something inherent in us does help to determine how much we have. I can’t lie and say it is just about choice. It would be equally inaccurate to say it is genetic or something entirely out of our control.
My experience has been that when I have the time, resources and energy, I have a tremendous amount of willpower. It is humorous to note that when I have many demands on all of those things, my willpower decreases proportionally.
The trick, is trying to figure out what means the most to you, and then prioritizing based on that inversely proportional relationship.
When someone says they really want to lose weight, and they know they need to workout, but just can’t find the time to either workout or to get to the gym, their issue is that there are alternative demands on their time that they give priority to. For parents, it is often that they have kids. It is a valuable reason and I sympathize with that priority, but the kids are not the only demand on time for parents. Most parents have shows they watch or hobbies they invest themselves in.
Not everything can be a priority.
So having so many responsibilities and so many different demands can cause us to be confused and exhaust our tank of available concern by the end of the day. When we finally have some time, that extra scoop of ice cream looks a lot more enticing and is a lot easier than taking 20 minutes to lift weights or jump on a treadmill.
Many of us have experienced people in our lives that seem to have everything together. They workout daily, they read, they are very intelligent professionals in the workplace that always get high marks on evaluations, and they seem to have loving relationships and wonderful families with ample energy to do stuff with them.
How do they do that?
Well, they weren’t always that way. Having experienced the ebb and flow of having lots of willpower and then very little, before having a lot again, I can help explain it. Whenever there is change or when new desires in our lives start to become important to us, we start losing site of our priorities and things that haven’t become routine, or habit for us, are the first things to be sacrificed. It is why people who have been working out for decades don’t stop when their life changes, and it is why people that have been working out for months find it so easy to stop when it becomes difficult.
No matter what you do, if you haven’t made it habitual, it is on the chopping block when new interests enter your life. Further, if your habits are not good, they will continue to cycle negative changes into your life, that force you to react and increase the number of new interests. Bad eating habits will harm your health faster and force you to address the issues, either by reevaluating your diet and exercise, or by remembering to take your daily medication. Either way, your routine has to adjust.
We don’t build up or gain willpower. What we do is use what willpower we have more efficiently.
That is accomplished by developing habits.
So if you want to eat better, you need to invest a lot of time and effort into figuring out how to do that. You have to stick to it, and recognize that you probably won’t also have the energy to read a book a week, or even a month. That might be a good behavior, but if you try to do both, you will do neither, and your willpower will always be exhausted.
Should you desire to workout daily, you will need to understand that there will be sacrifices. The longer you stick to it, though, the easier it is to do, and the harder it is to quit. When I’m running regularly, it doesn’t matter if I travelled that day or if I had a very stressful time at work. Running becomes part of my routine and it actually helps me clear my head, reset my day, and refocus to help be present for my wife and children.
Sticking to my routine makes me a better husband and a father. It makes me a better medical provider. I become a better neighbor and friend.
Running doesn’t do that. Sticking to my routine and making good behaviors habitual simply frees me up to have more will left over to offer in the assistance of others.
Then there are the bad days, weeks…sometimes months. Don’t fret. Start a routine in the morning and make yourself do it. Get the small victories and the endorphin rush associated with winning. Small victories. You will find that your day tends to fall in line more often than not. After it gets back to routine, others will notice that their lives seem to be a mess compared to yours. They probably are, but it isn’t because you have some predisposition for perfection, but because you have been a good steward of the time, resources and energy that are available to you.
The value of good stewardship is infinite.
Most of you are probably at a point in your life where you know you can do something more, but also recognize that you don’t want to waste your time and energy on something that will be fruitless. I get it. That’s why I suggest you get something that you can work in slowly, at a pace you like, but that can help you in other areas. Whether it is just helping you be more creative at work, or improving a technical skill that you already use, investing in yourself and your skillset is the best way to steward your available time.
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