Folks, I’m supposed to be the one that takes care of patients. I’m supposed to talk to them when they’re down and tell them they are valued and important. I may offer a medication and always try to get them some time with a provider specializing in behavioral health.
I have been physically exhausted recently. My work has been fairly easy, but with a changeover in our technology system we document on, even the most routine tasks have turned into outright stressful events. At home I’m 2 weeks away from my wife and I welcoming our third child and first daughter into this world. My wife’s nesting creates a lot of tasks, but on top of that, I have my own projects that need completed.
First, there is the unfinished part of the basement. I set an arbitrary goal to have a place to welcome family into when they arrive after our daughter’s birth. A place they can call their own. I framed the walls, the electricity is mostly done, and plumbing rough-ins are in. Drywall is up, mudded and painted. Tile is in the bathroom. But I have 12 days to finish the grout, fix the shower install, complete the plumbing and get carpet in, which we haven’t even scheduled before my mother-in-law is scheduled to arrive. I probably don’t have to tell most of you that isn’t likely going to happen.
On top of that, I finished the raised garden beds and filled them with soil, but I haven’t had the time to get anything planted in them. I’m in mid-May and nothing is growing in my garden. That is the equivalent of 13 pallets, or almost 1000 cubic feet of soil I raced to fill it up with to grow nothing. Great.
There is the problem of the chickens as well. Their coop isn’t big enough to keep them in all day, so we let them free range. That means anything I plant will quickly become chicken food anyway. So I’m building a separate coop with a much bigger run that we could keep them in all day if we have to, but especially if we can’t be with them to observe them.
This is also for their safety, since our new puppy has the instincts of her much more menacing ancestors. She likes to run over to them, I think out of curiosity, but when they flap their wings and run, her instincts kick in and she decides to give chase. So far, she has only killed 1, and her 4 laying sisters honor her memory by pooping on our back porch.
The workspace I have is limited as well. My garage blew up with cardboard that my boys were crying about me throwing away because they wanted to build a fort. I actually thought it would be fun, but the space that I have available for a fort is currently where my desk was relocated when we converted the office into a nursery.
The price of lumber for my unfinished projects isn’t exactly making me click my heels in a joyous leap either.
So life is stressful. Add onto that and most of what I have feared spiritually and politically seems more eminent. Excuse the black pill for a second, but the push towards more centralized government and the increased talk of a worldwide approach is troubling. The increased spending is going to move us closer to reliance on the world banks and increase the chances that China will get to help write some of our domestic policies. It is downright apocryphal.
Politically the people in our country seem to just embrace the division. Rather than understand or try to love their opposition, they impugn them with motives they couldn’t possibly hold. The same group that told us the Russians definitely stole the election for Trump for 4 years are now trying to tell everyone that there is no way the election could have been rigged and that the results must be trusted. Further, the employment numbers, the economic inflation, and the continued ridiculous policies and promised increased spending are exactly what policy wonks on the libertarian side have been saying would be the result for years.
Ignored, of course, because every new president has a list of existential threats they will use as an excuse to try and kick the can down the road.
Pathetic.
Now this:
You’ll have to excuse me if it seems I’m taking this personally. I shouldn’t, but I am. This elitist scum thinks he has the right to force a false dichotomy on the American people? Do you know something? You also have the choice to not get the vaccine and not wear a mask. You could get vaccinated and continue to wear a mask. You could get one or not get one and wear multiple masks, or stay in your home. You could not get a vaccine and engage in any activity you want.
It takes a real special kind of cretin to think they have the authority to tell you what you can or can’t do at any moment, but especially on a slim margin of victory in a contested election. It might be important to reiterate that I don’t have the authority to tell you that either, so no matter how many of me vote for some scum villain, that cretin still cannot wield an authority that we don’t have. As a representative, there is no moral authority for him to make that claim.
So understand my depression. I’m exhausted, stressed, at my wits end, and then I try to relax and open up some garbage like this while scrolling for sports updates and funny memes.
Get off my lawn, Joe.
So my evaluation is complete. I have some mild depressive symptoms exacerbated by my inadequate sleep and work-life stressors. Not to mention a perspective of the world being fortified by the authoritarian creepiness from the guy with apparent dementia and early afternoon naps and potential stimulant dosing.
If you want the white pill, well, they all eventually do die. Systems that continue to spiral out of control and attempt to centralize more power do always collapse. That isn’t the good part, though. The good part is that there is still room for a remnant. A group that will have survived it all and can start over. If I can’t convince the politicians and the voters to shrink and eliminate the state apparatus, I can at least hold out hope that I’m one of those fortunate enough to survive the coming collapse and to spread the word and educate people about it.
There is also a high likelihood that they will escape the clutches of collapse for a few moments longer. Our nation does still enjoy a global hegemony on trade currency buffeted by our nation’s insatiable desire for war. That isn’t a good thing either, but it can explain how we might avoid a devastating collapse in the short term.
Stay safe, friends.
Luckily for me, part of my self-therapy is venting. You are all now my therapist, but I am only paying you with my awesome insights into the world and my life.
You are welcome.
Also, might I interest you in purchasing some heirloom seeds? The idea is that you definitely plant and grow them, and they produce the seeds for future plants that you can continue growing. You know, to feed your family when the price of your weekly produce at your local grocer consumes your entire weekly paycheck.
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